"I'm Not Sleepy" and Other Bedtime Stories

Photo: theguardian.co.uk

Today I came across this question on a social network:

"Can anyone offer any advice on how to handle a 3 year old who screams bloody murder every night before bed?" 

I'm approached for bedtime tips fairly often, so today, I thought I would share an expanded version of my response:


Without having a good sense of what a typical routine is before bed-and how many people are in the house, etc., and speaking in general terms, it would be helpful to first pinpoint & find out why is she is screaming. Is she afraid of the dark? Does not want to be alone? Is it a stressful time of day? Or maybe her day was too full-at school or daycare all day and needs some mommy/daddy time.

I find that a simple, un-rushed but regular routine helps to prepare kids for bedtime and helps them wind down. This could include a bath, laying out clothes for the next day and then a story, (one story only!) Don't be afraid of simple structure here-it helps kids feel supported and safe-event though they may test you and rebel every so often. Consistency and patience are key.

Some other quick bedtime activity alternatives are:

•  doing a simple coloring activity (for 3 year olds, simple geometric shapes, rainbows or animals are just fine!) 
• a brief, gentle massage (hands and feet or scalp usually work well.) 
• a small snack with some protein-chicken, cheese stick, yogurt, nut butter, etc. and a few slices of vegetables or fruit
• brushing/combing teeth and hair
• preparing lunch or snack for the next day

In addition, the following important details should be noted:

• give a "heads up" 5 minute warning-and use a timer. Do not cave and do not prolong this. Do not let them keep adding 5 more minutes- as it creates bad habits and a distorted sense of time down the road.(Allowing children to prolong bedtime like this also teaches them to not respect boundaries and they will expect you to do this all the time. Don't let this become a pattern or it will be impossible to break!)
• shut down TV and electronics at least 30 minutes before bed so the senses/brain can also calm down. TV & other electronics stimulate the areas of the brain that control our stress response-(Fight or Flight) and the brain/body needs time to regulate and shift to low gear after the adrenalin rush
• night lights are sensed by the eyes even while asleep and do not allow the brain/body to rest completely. Its best to not use them or at least be sure they are as dim as possible and not shining directly in the child's face.
• I discourage TV's and computers in bedrooms for the same reason. Remove them or unplug and cover them during bed/nap time.
• quiet, slow tempo (instrumental) music played on very low volume is OK and may help signal to the brain that its time for sleep
• furry family members (pets) should be moved out of the room so the room "quiets" down
• toys and clothes should be put away so that the room is "quiet" when bedtime comes. \
• follow through with consequences. If you have to ask several times to put toys away and go brush their teeth and your child continues to play, there should be a meaningful consequence, such as not reading a story because there is no time for one.
• A visual schedule is also helpful and is simple to make. Take photos of each step in the bedtime routine-(bath, brush teeth, comb hair, lay out clothes, story, lights out, etc.) and place each on a wall chart in order, or in a small photo album. When its time to do bedtime activities, lead your child though each picture-step. The next-to last step should be a brief but fun activity-(keeps them motivated to complete the other steps) and then "Lights Out" tells them its time for sleep.

It may take a few tries for the new routine to catch on, and they kids might test you. Be patient and stay calm. They will soon understand and be doing it on their own.

A word of caution though-experts say that it is also not good to over-help your child get to sleep. This is a skill they need to learn for themselves. Bedtime should not become a circus but rather a time to wind down and prepare for restful sleep. Over-helping creates a situation where the child becomes over dependent on the help and cannot develop the skills he needs to settle himself down and go to sleep at all. Read More : The Wide Awake Club

Also see: 

Helping Your Child Sleep Well

Taming Your Toddler

For more simple ideas on keeping kids calm, learn more about Barbara's Book, Calm & Connected !

Other Great Bedtime Books:

Bedtime is Cancelled

When the Moon Forgot

Sleep Like a Tiger

The Dream Keeper

Mama, I Can't Sleep

The Dot

Good Night Moon

Contact: bodylogique@yahoo.com 

Smart Kids in the Kitchen

Today is Food Revolution Day! 

Food Revolution Day is the culmination of  Jamie Oliver's campaign to help people understand the connection between food & health.

Communities across the country and across the world will celebrate the beautiful diversity of fresh food today, sharing cooking skills, understanding healthy eating habits and, of course, eating healthy & delicious food!

How are you helping support food education & cooking skills for children's & teen health?

BodyLogique® has begun the Kid's Canteen as a new adventure in Health & Learning - Our short video features are called S.M.Art Kids in the Kitchen! (Watch our website &  blog for details) Meanwhile, enjoy this preview below:

Related Articles:

Just Food.org

Chef by Step: The World's Easiest Cookbook

Whole Kids Foundation

Real Food-Real Kids

5 Ways to Get Kids to Eat More Vegetables

.

Spring Training!

Photo: allmyfaves.com

I've been slowing down on blog posts recently because I am working on some other time-consuming (but worth it) projects!

Our main website now has a new home: www.bodylogique.com

Some links and features are not live yet, but I hope to have it completed over the weekend. Our updated (and full) training schedule will be up as well-we have a great lineup for you through the end of 2013!

In addition, The S.M.Art Kids® Adaptive Yoga Facilitator's Training- Spring Session has begun! If you have not signed up-or are undecided- please join us on this Evening's Conference Call. There is no charge for the call, but you must register at this link to participate.

This Evening's Conference Call Meeting Topic:

S.M.Art Kid® Facilitator's Training: Spring (Blended/Hybrid) Session Introduction to teacher's training program

This 20-30 minute call will focus on to introducing ourselves & the instructional materials to Spring Session, S.M.Art Kids® Facilitator's Training (Both Blended/Hybrid and Distance programs).

I will answer your questions regarding the schedule, materials, and/or certificate requirements, or anything else you would like to know.

Even though the call is directed for new Spring Session registrants, all others are welcome to participate whether currently enrolled in the program or not so please feel free to invite guests to join us on this call!

There is no charge for this session, but you must register! If you have not gone to the link and registered, please before 6 PM!

For more details, visit our BodyLogique Facebook Events Page (and give our BodyLogique Page a "Like" if you would be so kind!) 

For questions, please e-mail Barbara: bodylogique@yahoo.com 

I look forward to training with you!

Barbara Gini

Founder,

BodyLogique Health & Learning

S.M.Art Kids® Adaptive Yoga

To find our growing library of

Webinars and Conference Call recordings 

visit AnyMeeting

.

With Gratitude: Teacher Appreciation Week

Photo: Camden Catholic High School
Yearbook  - ©1983

This is teacher appreciation week and I have been lucky enough to have so many wonderful teachers in my life who I would love to thank:

Ms. Dietenback, (K) Mrs. Mayer (1st)- Mrs. McCloy (2nd) - Mrs Murray (3rd)- Miss Drew (4th) - Mrs Whitworth (5th) - Miss Cavenaugh (6th)- Mr Lake (7th) - [ Apologies to my 8th Grade Teacher-I am drawing a blank!]

There have been so many others as well-art and music teachers as well as sport coaches - but I thought today it would  be fitting to tell you about a teacher who has educated, supported & influenced me the most on so many levels-personally, professionally and spiritually.

That person is Sr. Mary Philomena Gini.  (But I usually just call her "Aunt Ellie." )

In June, she will be retiring from 40 years at Camden Catholic High School (Cherry Hill, NJ), but  she has touched so many students and families in the nearly 20 years prior to that, not only as an educator, but also as a registrar, guidance counselor, as my paternal aunt, and as a Sister of Mercy.

In September, this amazing woman will also be honored for her sixty years of service to the Sisters of Mercy.  As one of my former classmates wrote, " I can barely commit to what I'm having for lunch-let alone 60 years to one mission!". I concur with his sentiment!

Camden Catholic was founded by the Sisters of Mercy in Camden in 1887, making it 125 years old-the oldest Catholic School in South Jersey. My aunt has been *volunteering in the guidance department all these years, and  is the last Sister out of a 125 year tradition to serve there.  

*(That is right-volunteering. Sisters do not get personal financial compensation for their work-their paychecks go to support the community of sisters and each Sister receives a monthly allowance.)

As a teenager, (and a student of Camden Catholic) it seemed as if I couldn't get away from her watchful eye-and believe me, I tried! She used to tell me that I was closest she would ever have to a daughter-and so I was stuck with her-and she meant it. It was amazing that every formal dance I went to, (about 8 of them between my class's events & those of my then, boyfriend's who was a year ahead of me)  the chaperon's table was always the one RIGHT next to whatever one I was seated at! In front of my friends I would express angst & irritation,  But what I never told anyone is that it also made me feel like someone sincerely cared about me & was really looking out for me. She wanted to be involved in my life and this was her way of doing that.

My aunt is a 5 foot tall delicate balance of loving compassion and dynamic kick-ass. You never have to guess or wonder where you stand with her, she says exactly what is on her mind. She laughs as easily as she expresses displeasure. Nuns have a legendary reputation for getting wicked with rulers, but not my aunt. One look of disapproval from her is enough. She expected the best from us-especially me-but was also patient when we-and I- fell short of those high expectations. 

Her office was always crowded-and still is-with mostly football and basketball players-people just saying hello, people with something to share and people with heavy hearts. Her office was a sanctuary-a safe haven where you shared news, supported each other through rough spots and got told what you were doing right as well as what you were doing wrong. I watched her for four years, as she embraced each one of us as one of her own, and I took mental notes on how to really support people-even those who are irritating you at the moment. She has a gift-does not have any children, yet has keen insight into what a child or teen needs at any given moment, and has shown me, by her example, how to still love someone even if you don't like what they have said/done.

She never pushed religion on me-but always set a good example and answered my questions when they would come up. I think she was secretly hoping that some 'good' would rub off on me when I would spend Saturdays with her at the convent with ALL of the nuns. One of my fondest memories of high school was the environment of Peace and tranquility there among the Sisters-and although I never had a desire to enter a religious order, those early, pleasant experiences helped to shape my understanding of spirituality, inner peace-how to live simply-taking only what you need and how to focus on and stay in the moment. 

My aunt was also the first one who I went to, at 18 and in my first year of college, when I found out I was pregnant. I made some bad choices-(and some good ones) and had many challenges - some self-imposed and some not- to overcome, and  no matter how long I have gone in between phone calls, she always has a smile in her voice and good insight when I talk with her.  She knows things about me that my own parents, brother and those closest to me do not know. She has given me simple guidance, and has always believed in me even through those days when I no longer believed in myself.

The thing that inspires and impresses me most about her is that she has dedicated her entire life to something that she is passionate about and truly believes in. (And when I say her entire life, I mean it. You know how kids play "doctor" or "teacher"? Well, my aunt used to play "Nun in the convent" from the time she was about 5 years old. There are no other nuns/priests in the family who may have influenced this-so I can only conclude that it was truly a Divine Calling.)

So as we celebrate teachers this week, I want to thank her- Aunt Ellie- Sister Philomena for her love, dedication,  inspiration, & passion- for teaching, supporting and inspiring youth - and families from all over the state NJ- for sharing so much of her time, knowledge, experience, charity, unconditional love, and years of her life with all of us. 

Further Reading:

Its About the Little Things

Sisters of Mercy

Teachers: 99 Reasons to Love Them



.